goodnight i made you a song goodbye
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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