Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
