Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
