I think my fart just growled at me.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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