im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
