i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Randomize