You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
