I can tuck mytits in my pants
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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