I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
