Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize