just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
