i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
