It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
