she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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