some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize
