don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
