and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i don't like sucking hair
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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