I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
