I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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