My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize