how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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