Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
