i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
