Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
