you win again, gameday.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
