So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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