did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
