Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
