He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
