Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
