forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
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