She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
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