ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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