The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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