i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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