I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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