I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
