Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
