There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
