Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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