so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
