At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
