I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
