No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
