Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
