I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
