Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
