After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
