I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
