It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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