How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize