I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
