Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Randomize
