You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
