i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
