I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
