There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
