I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
